Take a quick scan of your FB feed or your Instagram reels.
You’ll quickly know what month it is.
It’s the month of love!
Socials are full of happy couples, hands clasped, sending each other “kilig” messages that’ll make their readers reach for the tissues…or a tub of ice cream.
This time of the year, Filipinos are taking stock of the state of their “love life,” and so our post for today is going to be about the intersection of relationships and health.
Did you know that a toxic relationship can kill you?
Conversely, a happy one can make you want to live forever.
While there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, science has shed light on how positive/negative relationships impact our health and well-being.
Let’s dive in.
#1 Cardiovascular Health
A good relationship is good for your heart. Literally.
But a bad romance can leave you with a broken heart. Also literally.
Over a dozen longitudinal studies have shown how a poor relationship can increase the risk of coronary heart disease (29%) and stroke (32%).
A person with better emotional support, on the other hand, is more likely to avoid and survive a heart attack. And it’s not just because there’s someone to dial 911. Loving relationships have been linked to lower blood pressure and have been known to contribute to overall cardiovascular well-being.
So when it comes to the heart issue, there’s a very direct and real physical component to it.
#2 Stress Level
Does looking at your partner make your blood boil?
Are you living under the same roof with someone who stresses you no end, reminding you of life during the 2020 COVID lockdowns?
Stress is one of those things that affects every system of the body—cardiovascular, respiratory, endocrine, gastrointestinal, nervous, musculoskeletal, and reproductive systems. The works.
For example, if you’re always stressed, your muscles are consistently tensed up. This can lead to chronic tension in the shoulders, neck, and head, which is just one step away from migraines and headaches.
Chronically stressed people produce the hormone called cortisol. At persistently high levels in the body, it’s been known to cause a host of issues, including metabolic disorders, diabetes, obesity, and depression.
On the other hand, a happy and loving relationship can serve as a buffer from stress. Instead of causing it, the relationship can become a haven for peace and quiet. It’s folks wanting to be home because they know loving and non-judgmental people are waiting for them.
Healthy relationships are linked to lower production of the “stress hormone” cortisol.
#3 Immune System
Being in love, and feeling loved and cared for tends to enhance the potency of one’s immune system. It means the individual will have higher levels of antibodies and white blood cells.
So being in a stable and loving relationship doesn’t just mean rainbows and butterflies. It also means you’re in a better position to be able to ward off colds and infections.
On the other hand, when you’re anxious and stressed about your bond, or like when you guys get into a big fight, your immune system takes a dive and becomes less effective. You easily catch a cold, not just because you’ve cried a bucket of tears. It’s your immune system not functioning at its best.
Another interesting thing about the immune system is that people who live together tend to have similar immune systems. This can be due to the fact that cohabiting couples are experiencing the same environment, being exposed to the same allergens, eating the same food, and having the same sleeping habits and lifestyles.
So when your partner is sick, you’re probably going to catch it too. This is one of those examples of how relationships have far-reaching effects on the quality of our lives.
#4 Cognitive Health
Did you know that a stressful relationship in your midlife can have a detrimental impact decades later when you’re older?
In 1997, a long-term study from University College London asked almost 6,000 participants to rate their relationships in terms of worries, problems, and stress. They were also asked to answer a cognitive questionnaire. (The participants did this test 3x since 1997.)
Researchers found that people who had more negative aspects to their relationships displayed the most cognitive decline. Mentally, it was as if they were years older compared to happier couples.
To be blunt about it, being in a toxic relationship, over time, tends to make people “dumber,” affecting their performance in cognitive tasks.
#5 Longevity
All other things being equal, married people outlive people who never married. A 2013 study published in the Annals of Behavioral Medicine found that people who never married were more than twice as likely to die earlier than those in stable marriages.
Researchers attribute this to the associated benefits of being with a partner. For example, when you have a partner, you have someone to remind you to take your meds or go to the doctor. You also have a reason for quitting smoking or exercising. If you fall, there’s likely somebody who can help you or call 911. All of this is in addition to the emotional and psychological support of a partner.
But then, not all relationships are created equal. And it’s important to factor in how people treat each other also. Because there are partnerships that are so toxic they can be unhealthy.
Relationship status is not the end-all and be-all. Relationship quality matters greatly.
Sooo…
Is Being Single Really Better Than Being In A Bad Relationship?
There are those who can only be described as “malamig na nga nung Pasko, pati Valentines malamig din…eh El Niño naman.”
And in this season of hearts, and chocolates and making dinner reservations and paying exorbitant prices for flowers, the often-quoted line is, “Being single is better than being in a bad relationship,” or “It’s better to be single than to wish you were.”
But is there truth to this?
Research from Michigan State University seems to validate the idea.
The study sought to compare the life satisfaction of people in different relationship statuses: single or married (happily/unhappily).
Participants were asked to rate things like their overall positive/negative feelings over the past two weeks, as well as the day before. They were also asked how much they agreed with statements like, “I am satisfied with my life” and “My relationship with my partner makes me happy.”
The results were loud and clear, and just as we suspected. Single folks are doing better than people in bad relationships. (So, at least we know there’s validity to the claim, and that it’s not just an empty form of self-comfort.)
What was surprising though is that the study discovered some little bit of insights into human relationships. One is that single people are doing even better than those who are in “neutral” or middle-quality relationships. There are partnerships that one can’t classify as bad or good—so they’re in the middle of the range. Well, as it turns out, according to the study, being single sounds like a better proposition than a “neutral” partnership.
Another insight is that even in relatively “good” relationships, people were often reporting that they had “more positive feelings when their partner was not present than when their partner was around.” In other words, yes, sometimes people in romantic relationships like it better when their partners are not around. (Does anybody relate?)
Another insight was that people in relatively “good” relationships also reported that they “experienced significantly more negative feelings when they were with their partner than when their partner was not around.”
So take heart single people!
There are challenges to both being single and being in a relationship…even a good one.
The important thing is that everyone takes care of their health and well-being regardless of their relationship status.
Happy Hearts Month everyone!
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